Good at Everything, Settled in... Nothing? How to Find Direction
Analyzing the paradoxical situation where being competent or 'high functioning' can prevent you from finding your lane, slow down personal growth, hamper satisfaction, and lead to excess workload.
The idea that highly competent people are disadvantaged or in some way unlucky doesn’t sit well for many. Frankly speaking, if our high-performers are ‘cursed,’ then what does that mean for everyone else? But, as is often the case, there is a lot of nuance to unfold here. For me, the concept behind the so-called ‘Curse of Competence’ was major food for thought, as I’ve seen many examples of it throughout my life. The moment I heard the term, I immediately understood its meaning, making the subsequent definition redundant.
I’ve seen the Curse of Competence manifest mainly in two ways:
Example One: The Overburdened High-Performer
This individual’s capabilities are well known, be it at home, the office, or elsewhere. They are heavily relied on by many, constantly called upon, and tasks are frequently delegated to them. This leads to a disproportionate workload compared to their peers, causing them to burn the candle at both ends until they are (literally and figuratively) burnt out.
Example Two: The Talented Yet Directionless
This is almost the complete opposite of the first. These people are also highly capable, talented, and smart, but they just can’t seem to get their life together. When describing them, people say things like, ‘they could be successful in whatever they want, but they just won’t do it.’
Now, I don’t want to minimize the plight of the first example, but seeing as the issue is mostly due to external factors, we will be focusing on the second example as the nature of this newsletter is inward first.
For many, the essence of the Curse of Competence boils down to this: the more competent you are—the more options you have—the more challenging it can be to make decisions regarding life direction. When your life’s direction is seemingly unconstrained by ability and more by choice, the fear of how that choice may resonate in your life echoes loudly in your thoughts. This can lead to a paralysis where you are unable to make that defining decision, with the weight of your future always playing on your mind.
So, is this me?
If you fall into this category, it’s unlikely that you are an under-thinker or that you aren’t spending enough time thinking about your future. Quite the opposite, in fact. When it comes to life direction, you’re more likely an over-thinker, although this is not always true. The issue here is not about the amount of time spent in thought but rather the train of thoughts themselves. Let me explain.
Spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about your future may yield results, but by definition, too much time is being spent without proper action. Albert Einstein said, ‘If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.’ There is a lot of wisdom in those words, but to take it at face value means that while understanding a problem is crucial, the breakthrough comes from how we approach solving it. By honing our methods and thought-provoking strategies, we can turn hours of unproductive pondering into actionable solutions. This sounds obvious, but it isn’t always easy to see when we’re gliding through our daily lives.
The ‘Paradox of Choice,’ as coined by Barry Schwartz, is, in a nutshell, the idea that with more choice, freedom, and autonomy, we have less overall satisfaction. When making big decisions with numerous options, it can be absolutely overwhelming. We build up our decisions so much, and comb through so many options that if we don’t feel great all the time afterward, we perceive it as a personal failure in decision-making.
So how do I fix it?
The first thing I’d advocate for is reflecting with intention. As pointed out before, the goal isn’t just to think about the problem, but to actually come away with solutions. If locking yourself away with your thoughts hasn't yielded results yet, then it's clear that alternative methods are needed. An effective technique that doesn’t require any help from others is Mind Mapping. This provides you with a visual representation of your interests and helps you see connections between them. There are an abundance of tutorials and guided exercises online to help create these.
The other thing I’d recommend is trying things out. Seriously, getting out and experimenting with different activities is one of the most proactive ways to discover your direction. The caveat here is to set goals and milestones. If you try something and quit too soon, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Malcolm Gladwell suggests it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert, so I’d wager that by 500 hours, you have a good idea of your suitability for something.
Final Thoughts
The Curse of Competence can certainly feel like a unique burden (though many feel its effects), but it also presents a significant opportunity for growth and discovery. Intentional reflection paired with experimentation can unlock a vast new landscape of possibilities. Remember, it’s not about the amount of time spent thinking, but the quality and direction of your thoughts. Don’t hesitate to seek help with these processes, but be cautious of the usual online suspects (YouTube, social media, etc.), as there’s a lot of dubious advice out there and the ever-present rabbit hole. Lastly, don’t forget that the journey is just as important as the destination, so make it a thoughtful and intentional one. Until next time,
- Wes